If you’re considering committing to a long-term relationship or marriage, there are some (serious) conversations to have now that will save you potential pain and heartbreak in the future.

These conversations help you to see if this is the right relationship for you and your partner before long-term commitment takes hold.

At their core, relationships are a series of agreements, and many of those agreements can go unspoken. Meaning you might commit to a relationship with one idea in mind while your partner has another… because you haven’t had a conversation about it to know what you’re agreeing to. (A lot of these sound like, “he should” or “I shouldn’t).

Having these conversations may not be easy, but not having them could cause bigger conflict in the future.

Here are the top 5 conversations to have before you commit to a relationship:

Conversation 1: Money

It’s the #1 thing couples argue about. If you want your committed relationship to become a marriage, I urge you to consider marriage as a business deal. Sure, you want to marry for love (at least most of you). But if you don’t talk about money, you won’t know what kind of deal you’ve agreed to. And neither will your partner.

Talking about it won’t mean that you’ll always agree or won’t argue about it. But you will have an opportunity to know exactly what you’re agreeing to.

And not all couples want to get married. That doesn’t make the money conversation any less important. Remember that in most countries if you’re not married you have no rights to your partner’s assets if you split up or (tragically) one partner dies.

Consider: Having a fully honest disclosure of all personal finances and agree on a financial action plan, create a prenuptial agreement

Conversation 2: Sexual Preferences

There’s a lot that goes unspoken between the sheets. Sexual preferences are often based on experiences and beliefs, and can be sensitive to talk about. Without being vulnerable and open with your partner (and this may start with you speaking up first), it will be difficult to feel sexually connected and understood.

How much is too much and how much is not enough? You may have different answers than your partner, so your serious conversation may lead to compromise.

Consider: Have you truly shared your personal likes, dislikes, what you’re open to and closed to with your partner?

Conversation 3: Belief System

When it comes to beliefs and values, there can be deal-breakers. Some people are accepting of differing belief systems, where as others simply cannot be with someone who doesn’t share their beliefs. Neither is right or wrong. This comes down to your personal choice. This will also affect how you raise children if you choose to.

Consider: What aspects of your belief system are non-negotiable?

Conversation 4: Household Chores

Living together means running a household. How are household responsibilities going to be shared? Who does what and when? What does “clean and tidy” look like for each of you?

Is there a chore that you’ll feel resentment for doing in the long-run?

It may sound tedious, but can be a major source of conflict in relationships.

Consider: How could you fairly share cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, home repairs, toilet seat up or down, etc.

Conversation 5: Health Standards

Health may seem like an individual thing, but when you’re in a committed relationship, your health matters to your partner, too.

For example, if one partner values healthy eating or physical exercise and the other doesn’t, this can be a source of conflict. Or one partner may be trying to cut down on alcohol where the other enjoys 2 glasses of wine with dinner or invites friends over for cocktails.

You’ll end up taking care of each other when you’re ill, so its best to get on the same page with what feels healthy and what doesn’t. And the best way to do that is by having a conversation about it.

Consider: Health can be a sensitive issue, so use “I” statements about your feelings, needs, and concerns around your physical health.

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Want your next relationship to be the healthiest one ever? Check out “Learn to Love Well,” my signature 1:1 program.

5 Conversations to Have Before you Commit to a Relationship