7 Words to Avoid as an Empowered Woman
Don’t use these 7 words if you want to feel empowered as a woman.
Speaking your truth as a woman is vital to living well. And to shifting the way women show up in the world. But social conditioning can have a big impact on how we speak and express ourselves verbally.
There are words that empower. And words that disempower.
And more often than we realize, we’re using our words in a disempowering way.
Here are seven examples I hear from women on a regular basis, and how you can make shifts for each to use more words that empower.
These are not women-specific, however they seem to disempower women at a deeper level than men. I’m guilty of using all of these - that’s how I can notice them! Awareness is where we can start.
7 Words & Phrases that Empowered Women don’t use:
Just
Examples:
“I was just wondering…”
“I am just emailing you to…”
“I just thought…”
Shift: Remove the word “just” completely. It’s not needed.
2. Sorry
Examples:
“Sorry, but can I say something?”
“Oh, sorry!” when someone bumps into you.
“Sorry, that’s mine.”
Shift: Are you really sorry? Then use it. If not, then don’t. Explore other words for interjections or pardons.
3. Maybe
Examples:
“Maybe it’s just me, but…”
“If I could maybe just add something to what you said…”
“Maybe,” in response to an invitation.
Shift: What rejection are you afraid of? Communicate in a more definitive way by removing “maybe” and using true statements.
Are you cringing yet at how many times you use these? Good, you’re becoming more aware! Ok let’s keep going.
4. No, it’s ok
Examples:
“No, it’s ok you can just have mine.”
“No, it’s ok,” when you don’t feel ok.
“No, it’s ok, you go in front of me.”
Shift: Is it ok? Or are you afraid to put a boundary in place? How can you communicate more from your truth?
5. Ha ha
Examples:
“Ha ha,” in response to a rude, crude, or disrespectful comment.
“Ha ha,” when you don’t think something is funny.
Shift: Is the situation funny, or are you uncomfortable and don’t know what to say? Laughing when something isn’t funny sends a mixed message and confirms behavior you may not want.
6. Does that make sense?
Examples:
Expresses thoughts… “I don’t know, does that make sense?”
“Does that make sense to you, or is it just me?”
Shift: Does it lack clarity, or are you feeling vulnerable? This is often a response to feeling vulnerable and insecure about your own thoughts, feelings, and something you’ve expressed. However, this language questions and discredits your truth.
7. Like
Examples:
“So I was like, ‘can you like be quiet?’”
“You know, it’s like…like… you know!”
“That’s like the same as…”
Shift: “Like” can be used correctly in many different ways. However, when it is overused to quote or compare, it can sound repetitive and childish (and for lack of a better word, “like totally valley”). Use sparingly.
Again, words can be used to empower or disempower us. These shifts may sound simple, but these words can be deeply engrained in the way we express ourselves. And take practice to shift.
Start with awareness - which one of these words or phrases stands out to you?
Work on becoming aware of it in your daily language this week. Then start to make some shifts! Then move onto the next word.
Empowering speech empowers women.
Share this blog with a woman (or man) you want to empower!