Crushing on Men & Avocados

My relationship to avocados is akin to a new crush on a sexy, intelligent, witty man.  You know the type.

You pick him out, he feels quite nice, entices you with future plans, tests all your patience, and more often than not spoils it all and breaks a little piece of your heart.

Although it’s not the gut-wrenching, deeply committed heartbreak. 

It’s the “aww shucks” type of disappointment that sets in when you’ve gotten your hopes up only to be “crushed.”

We’ve all been there, the moment you have your meal all planned out, you cut and peel the avocado only to find the fruit is either brown and spoiled or hard and tasteless.

Enter mild heartbreak.  (Yes, an avocado is a fruit; technically a single-seeded berry.)

How do we avoid this heartbreak? I.e. how can we tell when our avocados are ripe?

How many times have you stood in the grocery store squeezing avocado after avocado as if the squish test will reveal what’s really inside?  

“Eww way too squishy… ugh hard as a rock… maybe it will ripen in time for tacos this weekend… but I want tacos tonight… do perfect avocados even exist… screw it I’ll just buy the guacamole… geez guacamole is like the price of gold… stop it, I could totally make guacamole myself…. fine I’ll just ask the produce guy to pick out a ripe one… like he actually knows… look he’s just squeezing them, too… the struggle is real… but mmm I want tacos!” 

I’m 100 percent guilty.

The squish test isn’t quite the best - so watch this Buzz Feed video about how to pick the perfect avocado.

Now if only there was a test to tell if the man crush will be perfectly ripe and ready.  A woman can dream…